Saturday, December 6, 2008

The Call of Silence


The sound of those wailing cries hadn't yet died in my ears. It was still very fresh- a cacophony that I wish I could avoid. The irregular thumping of heart still loud and clear as if it will rip out any moment. The pain of losing still visible in eyes no matter how hard smile and courage tried to conceal it, and then there were questions that I was asking myself. Why didn't the police do anything? Why are the Indian investigating Agencies always finding ways to evade their work? It was just another incidence for them but they did not realize that his entire family had virtually died with him. Even as he took his last breath he went unnoticed in the sea of bodies and pools of blood that hadn't been there just a moment ago. Dreams were shattered and hearts were broken in a matter of minutes.

The time has fled but WE still stand there...

I was in Mumbai attending a party when I heard the news. The party of course then came to a sudden halt and joyous,festive faces started to spell expressions of fear and confusion. My friend turned the tv on and the breaking news was that Mumbai was under attack, and it wasn't just those low intensity time bomb attacks that other Indian cities had endured throughout this year. This was much bigger, unprecedented and something that would be known as India's 9-11. As the reporters explained that terrorists had entered and shot many people inside some of Mumbai's most posh and luxurious hotels, and were holding many hostages, I knew it was going to turn out to be a very long night. Little did I know, that one long night was going to stretch into sixty very long and unforgettable hours. As the news story unfolded before my eyes, I found out that the bloody rampage was carried out at multiple sites around the city -10 in all. Some of the early pictures showed the massacre at the Leopold cafe and the CST station which were merely a diversion for the authorities as the main targets were the Taj and Oberoi. They had come with the intention of causing maximum damage and to kill till the last breath. Soon the host asked us to go home as soon as possible as there had been blast at Ville Parle as well, which was the place where we were attending the party. We hastily moved to the cars escorted by the security guards. They checked the cars before having us seated and then we left for home. I tuned into the news channel once again and found similar expression on the faces of many Mumbaikers that possessed me and my relatives a few months back; the expression that my heart still wears but one that I have learned to conceal. I am sure with time even they'll learn to hide their true feelings. I could see their apprehensions, their doubts and worries of what the future holds for them and their loved ones. Hundreds of people were dead, hundreds others injured and many more went missing. After three sleepless nights...news after news...hard news as well as soft news which was even worse than the counterpart...more appropriately 72*60 minutes of uncertainty, doubts..and when they found out the results, it only added to their disaster. Some people survived but with a wound that would perhaps never heal. The rest who died left their relatives in an unending pain. They live and yet 'die-thousand-deaths' every second. Who can better relate to them than me- a commoner...like you.

There was a time when I thought that pain can not touch me, and that it was made for people of another world. I guess this is what millions of Indians think, but I think its time to wake up because failiure of police and investigating agencies are now touching the lives of commoners...of YOU, The PEOPLE....

Its you and me who is Arushi, Hemant Karkare, Salaskar,and the list goes on...

"Politicians are corrupt... but it doesn't make any difference to me...keep feeding them and keep getting your work done." If this is the way you think then you are forgetting that today it was me who was affected; tomorrow your children can meet the same fate...SO WAKE UP people, because it does make a difference...

The problem with us Indians is that we are pachyderms, and our memory is short-lived. People we buy all the time, coax us with the same money at the time of election that once purchased them. We hate them, slang them, mock them, gibe them, and yet vote for them because we forget the pain that our fellows have been through. We forget that our country is suffering, and we forget that people in white khadis are selling it bit by bit for their own selfish reasons. I wonder what our politicians are made of. Even King Ashoka Changed his ways after witnessing bloodshed but these coldblooded animals only know how to pass apathetic comments on the deaths of people..

We see army fighting for our cause, police officials losing their lives for saving our lives, and these shameless, callous khadidaris glued to the chairs finding ways to mint more money even if that means playing with the lives of people, bringing in faulty bullet proof jackets, using obsolete defense weapons and public helicopters for their own benefit. Do you still trust them?

If you do...it means either you are one of them or you are still living in an illusion that you are safe.

Well If you ask me I am disillusioned. For me there is no difference between a terrorist and a politician. Actually, perhaps there is. Terrorists have motives beyond money and a politician's thinking starts with it and ends with it.
That being said I cant stop wondering how can we entrust the lives of 1 billion Indians in the hands of these money making buffoons. Why not snatch away the power they have been abusing and taking for granted? Why not privatize police? It took me 4 to 5 days to be able to understand and give a definition to my thought...

Well I know the moment I use the word privatize... a lot of you are going to ask...How does it make a difference? Well netas will just be replaced by businessmen that are as atrocious as netas... but here is what I think about the concept...These are the pros and cons of a privatized police:

Pros:
1) The Indian police will get better salary packages. Resulting in the erosion of corruption overtime.
2) They'll receive better training.
3) They will get better and latest weapons and perhaps technologically advanced equipment.
5) Last but not the least they will be accountable for their actions to more responsible people...
There will be more transparency as company is bound to tell shareholders..i.e public... in detail about its working in the annual meeting

I am sure though that there are many other positives that I am not being able to put down here..

Let me jot down the negatives that I have thought of...
1)The rein of safety of Indian population will go in the private hands...and they can use it to their advantage though this can be corrected by having few people from the govt. in board of directors..

2)The Netas can join hands with the company's top seat holders who may not be any better to sweep their deeds under the carpet..

3)It may not be in the interest of the lower class... However I think that certain provision can be made to safeguard their interest...

4) It might require a huge change in the original constitution laid by the constitution makers....How is it any better now... it anyways require a change before our country moves in anarchy...


Well I know the concept is novel and ambiguous but I also know that it will be more administratively sound than what it is now....

The deaths of so many people do call for the action because it's now or never...

P.S. The write-up still needs editing and contemplating... this is simply jotting down of random thoughts... kindly drop in your views on the matter at arpita181983@gmail.com

Friday, October 24, 2008

Embracing the Invincible


The tempest rages deep within
Engulfing the divine light,
As drowning feels better
Than to put a fight


The waves of despair embrace me,
And I love the darkness fall
There are no fears, no inhibitions
As i hear the slumber call

My eyes feel heavy
My senses feel cold
As death opens it arms
and tranquility it doth unfold

In a moment,I watched thousand rising suns,
As death and I become one...

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Rebuked by life, Abused by society


An Icarean fall wasn't as if good enough..Hordes of people swarming in and out of our abode, I wonder why? Each of them with their own judgments, questions, opinion and counsels. I silently withdrew to my room and confined myself to my own loneliness, tending to the questions reverberating back and forth in the alleys of my mind. I knew that finding answers to my queries was a Sisyphean labor.. as.. there were no answers.. Within a second, thousands of thoughts would cross through my mind, each of them rendering a new direction to my beliefs..not a single notion offered any relief..My mind was exhausted but it did not stop seeking..How i wish there was a cork that would stop the flow of incessant voices echoing in my brain..They gnawed at me, tormented me emotionally as well as physically..But there was no edification..

I started judging myself (something I had never done before), questioning myself (always to be greeted by the stoical silence)..My mind was playing those games with me that i have still not learned to master..

It is said that face the fears before they face you... and in my case they faced me when I was still vulnerable..

Last thing that I had wanted was... my mental realms being trespassed by the nosy people..but that was inevitable, considering the officiously prying Indian society..Trampling my emotions, overlooking my concerns, camouflaging their face in the false peace of understanding..Some of the 'so-called' close family friends were allowed to barge-in my privacy..So finally they got a golden opportunity that they were seeking for. A chance of butchering me and grilling me by their inappropriate verbiage..

Did they want to help me to retain my tranquility by placating my thoughts.... uh-no, they had entered my dominion to pacify their curiosity.. I had to alone fight my own storms..If anything they had only come to get their presence registered..I knew it from the start..Why still I couldn't get hold of my emotions in front of these gossip-mongers..Y they erupted with the least of provocation..

People did not stop voicing out their repulsive thoughts. I felt jinxed with every word. Some times humans can be as insensitive as destiny..

I wish never such a misfortune ever befalls on any person. How ever this is also a facet of life..A tough one though... I discovered the level of endurance, that was never there before..

Guys..all that I want to say through this post is... that there is only one entity who loves you more than life... and that is you..A loved one can let you down, leave you in the middle of nowhere without giving you any good reason..turn away as if those pages of life were never written... but you will have to hold on, with all your strength before people expunge all the traces and remnants of your sane existence.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Uns


Jaane kitne dard chhipe hai in haathon ki lakeero main,

Har ashru jo nikalta hai dhadkan chhu ke aata hai
Har adhura khwab,bunaney se pehle hi tut jaata hai,
jaaney kitney ehsaas jakde hai in saason ki zanjeero ne,
Jaane kitne dard chhipe hai in haathon ki lakeero main

Jeena chahti thi jo sapna, woh ab nidra se jagaata hai,
Beeta hua kal,vyatha ka kissa dohrata hai,
Rooh ka har katra laut ke jaana chahta hai
Rang jaise ud gaye hai, un chamakti tasveero se
Jaane kitne dard likhe hai in haatho ki lakeero main

Ateet-lehar dil main uthati hai aasu chhalak jaate hai
Ab khushi ke lamhe bhi gam ka geet gaate hai,
Hassi dhoondne jaate hai gam har disha se paate hai,
Ab maange bhi to kya maange hum upar bahthe fakeero se
Jaane kitne dard chhipe hai in haatho ki lakiro main..

Dard ban ke ik saaya, aas-paas mandrata hai
Iss dharatal ya aakash per sukoon nahi aata hai
Zindagi ne saath chhoda hai,
Maut ne muuh moda hai,
Jaaye bhi to kahan jaayein chhup ke apni takdeero se
Jaane kitne dard chhipe hai in haathon ki lakeero main

Friday, September 19, 2008

Kya Khoya Kya Paaya

Ik mitti ke zarreh se ubhra mera vajood,
Chhoone se bikher jayega
Hawa se udd jayega
Paani se pighal jayega
Is duniya se nahi hu main


Aansoo palkon main thamte nahi
Virah ka dard sataaye mujhko
Khoon jism main jam jayega
Meri duniya bulaaye mujhko
Is duniya se nahi hu main

Har waqt bulaati hai koi shakti mujhe
Chhookar jise har lamha simat jayega
Samjha hai is dard ki dawa usko
Kya meri tadap ko woh kabhi samajh payega

Wohi toh hai jo mera apna hai
Har pal mera saaya hai
Jo meri aankhon mein sama ke
Mere har khayal pe chhaya hai
Is duniya se nahi hai woh koi
Usse maine apne jahaan ka paaya hai

Dard jo mile hai mujhko kehta hai
Is jahaan main rehne ka kiraya hai
Bulata hai mujhe khud mein samaane ko
Yeh duniya, duniyaa nahi maya hai..
Poochta hai mujhse har pal, har lamha
Sab kuch khoya hai, tune kya paaya hai?

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Return me to salvation-me retourner au salut


To be human or inhuman
To be incomplete or done
To be standing or prostrating
To be losing or having won

To laugh or to mope
To live or to die every moment
To give up or to hope
To be blissful or to lament

To depart or to meet
To merge or to asunder
To confess or to cheat
To fight or to surrender

An eternity of strife
And a moment of happiness
Yet we revel in the suffering of life
Than basking in the glory of death

Every moment outside this realm is revelation
It begins with the last breath we take
Its time to indulge in salvation
Than acquiescing to the brutality of fate

Silver Lining


Although the world is around me
I yet feel lonely without you
There's a space that none can fill
Despair looms in all that i do

I wish to bring this world for thee
Yet know what you desire money cant buy
Cant those eyes ever shimmer with glee
Without inhibitions; out of pure joy?

I can feel every tear that you drop
My heart pains every time you sigh
It shatters me from deep within
Every time when I see you cry

The sun sets to rise again,
The flowers wither to bloom again
Then why can't we believe,
with all our heart
That good time will come again

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Shut the Doors on Yesterday



I've found today
I've shut the doors on yesterday
Its sorrows and mistakes;
I've locked within its gloomy walls
Past failures and heartaches.
and now I throw the key away
To seek another room
And furnish it with hopes and smiles
And every spring time bloom.

No thought shall enter this abode
That has a hint of pain,
and worry malice and distrust
Shall never therein rein.
I've shut the doors on yesterday
And thrown the key away
The future holds no doubt for me,
since I've found today..

Trust is not trust if it ask for an explanation...


So every time u ask God to prove His presence, u r distrusting Him... When u trust Him you'll see His miracles everywhere around u....
Every time u ask Him for fulfilling any of your wish, remember God is omniscient, He already knows what u want..
If He thinks what u have asked for is better than what He has for u on His mind..
He would grant it...So wait and watch..
Put your faith in His decisions
Don't Ask... Just Trust Him and Trust His creations

Some Thoughts


The one who has mastered the art of losing, is invincible;

The one who can love his sorrows as much as he loves his joys,
can stay eternally in the state of bliss;

The one who can take pain with the same strength as he accepts pleasure,
can never languish;

The one who can love Him and His creations selflessly,
finds His unconditional love..

Don't be a good man or virtuous woman.... Just try to be a good human....

They show...


I love to see people made up,
i just dont seem to specialize
I try to make up my emotions
They spill on all that I write

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

pehle sachayi se aankhe milaate they ab to sapney bhi daraa jaate hain..
tab hum zindagi se jeetetay the ab maut se haar jaate hain