An Icarean fall wasn't as if good enough..Hordes of people swarming in and out of our abode, I wonder why? Each of them with their own judgments, questions, opinion and counsels. I silently withdrew to my room and confined myself to my own loneliness, tending to the questions reverberating back and forth in the alleys of my mind. I knew that finding answers to my queries was a Sisyphean labor.. as.. there were no answers.. Within a second, thousands of thoughts would cross through my mind, each of them rendering a new direction to my beliefs..not a single notion offered any relief..My mind was exhausted but it did not stop seeking..How i wish there was a cork that would stop the flow of incessant voices echoing in my brain..They gnawed at me, tormented me emotionally as well as physically..But there was no edification..
I started judging myself (something I had never done before), questioning myself (always to be greeted by the stoical silence)..My mind was playing those games with me that i have still not learned to master..
It is said that face the fears before they face you... and in my case they faced me when I was still vulnerable..
Last thing that I had wanted was... my mental realms being trespassed by the nosy people..but that was inevitable, considering the officiously prying Indian society..Trampling my emotions, overlooking my concerns, camouflaging their face in the false peace of understanding..Some of the 'so-called' close family friends were allowed to barge-in my privacy..So finally they got a golden opportunity that they were seeking for. A chance of butchering me and grilling me by their inappropriate verbiage..
Did they want to help me to retain my tranquility by placating my thoughts.... uh-no, they had entered my dominion to pacify their curiosity.. I had to alone fight my own storms..If anything they had only come to get their presence registered..I knew it from the start..Why still I couldn't get hold of my emotions in front of these gossip-mongers..Y they erupted with the least of provocation..
People did not stop voicing out their repulsive thoughts. I felt jinxed with every word. Some times humans can be as insensitive as destiny..
I wish never such a misfortune ever befalls on any person. How ever this is also a facet of life..A tough one though... I discovered the level of endurance, that was never there before..
Guys..all that I want to say through this post is... that there is only one entity who loves you more than life... and that is you..A loved one can let you down, leave you in the middle of nowhere without giving you any good reason..turn away as if those pages of life were never written... but you will have to hold on, with all your strength before people expunge all the traces and remnants of your sane existence.
