just an entry

Its strange that things seem closing on to me and i hate to admit that i know all thats happening around and yet just want to close my eyes to the truth.... want to believe that things are gonna be k...and yet...y does my heart live in a constant fear...wats coming up next....every tym i hear of a tragedy i cant stop tears from filling my eyes and then some times I feel my heart weighting on me...there are fears and doubts and pains and insecurities....i smile at myself, at others all the time.. unshed tears always taking abode in my eyes..who am i? I am not truly sure...what do i want from my life? probably just love and acceptance and a guarantee that it would stay forever and ever....and i know its the rarest thing that i am asking for...I get it enough and yet not enough...I talk to ppl, tell them tales, positive approach is all we need is wat i council them, help them in all the possible ways.. i tell them to love themselves...but let me face it...I am myself way to weak to be able to accept and love myself the way I am....this world seems to be a lie, full of impostors and thugs yet i let them enter in my life and let them walk away at their convenience...Nothing last forever is the only truth...what am I living for....i have no clue.....But i know who i m living for...and thats the only answer i have...there is glamour and parties and materialism everywhere....i wish i ever needed them...for what i ask for is priceless and out of reach of selfish beings