I wana believe He doesn't exist but He makes his presence felt with every breath I take; with every sunrise He wakes me up and ensures that I feel his complete control over my life; with every sunset He makes it certain that every dream narrates all that HE has taken away from me...
The realization dawned on me long tym back that I am just insignificant, a pawn in the game of that SADISTIC Power who loves to see people (who he claims are His children) in pain...What Kind of Father is He who loves to see His children cry....OH!!!Let me not forget TRYING TIMES MAKE US STRONGER AND TEACH US TO BE BETTER HUMANS... SO LEARN AND FEEL PROUD THAT U R GETTING TO LEARN...But did I ever ask to be taught..I don't want to grow or learn...For bleeping five years, I have been learning...And learning so tremendously that i have forgotten how to live...I see people getting away with the sinful acts and coming out scotch free...And I who stuck to most of the tenets and commandments that religions have laid for humans get to suffer...How I hate it when mum tells me that this suffering is the evidence that I am in His books....Coz I don't wana be in His books...
If we are His children then Y does He makes us suffer so much? If suffering is a part of His love then I hope and wish that HE hates me just the way I have started hating Him...I relied on Him all my lyf...during thick and thin, I banked on Him for His guidance and gave Him that place in my life that no one ever could have taken...no one but Him...And today when He has left me in the middle of nowhere...where do I go...Who do I rely on...I feel directionless, disoriented and shattered...
I wish He understands that five years are enough to kill someone...Why at all did He give me life when it had to be so full of sufferings...I am running out of patience and perseverance that is required to get through the challenges that He keeps throwing on to me...Every time I felt that He has blessed me....It was a curse in disguise...He hurts me and then doesn't even bother to look back...
What reason do i have to love You...What reason do i have to accept you and abide by your laws...I wana have a carefree life too like most of the people my age..
I wish You once get to come on this earth and live through the pains and sufferings of the humans....You'll start hating Yourself....
You know we humans are cursed with sinful nature (that is none other than one of your gifts to your children)..But you!!! You are selfish, impure, mean, sadistic, sardonic, brutal, barbarous, egoistic and ruthless...What do I call the one who enjoys inflicting pain on His children...No word probably is good enough to describe YOU...Call it blasphemy!!! You are filthier than the filthiest human.
