How to lose a guy in 3 meetings
This worked for me……Guys check it out….
How Indian system of marriage sucks!!!!
Meeting guys after guys with their expectations and demands, I was finally sick and tired when asked to meet one of the other silly boys!!!
‘Mom, can we do it after some other time! They are all stupid and immature.’
‘This one seems interesting. He has got a great profile. You’ll like him when you meet him’.
I went through the profile endless number of times…It was one of those intellectual profiles (a typical mom-dad-lyk-it kinna profile)…How I wished mom understood that IQ level is different to EQ, wisdom and maturity levels which guys barely have…Perhaps because they are not required to highlight any of those in their CVs….I wonder if I am cursed with these things before the right age or is it a blessing!!
Little did I know then that that meeting would be one of the most hilarious and interesting meetings I’ve ever had…
To begin with his arrival was marked by four dreaded letters L-A-T-E…Indian way of showing one’s virtual importance…And for me one strong reason to disregard him as my ‘MR. RIGHT’...Nevertheless, my cousin and I made ourselves comfortable by seeing around the hotel. Thereafter, we both sat in the coffee shop from where we could see my family in the lounge waiting for him and his family…
In the meanwhile we thought of all the ways of making the guy say ‘no’ if I dislike the guy like… taking out a pack of sutta while fidgeting with the things inside the purse…flaunting my expensive accessories to put emphasis on my extravagance…talking about the endless number of imaginary flings with unknown guys to ward of ennui, etc, etc..
However I had a better plan on my mind (if I dint like him plan)….After all the above mentioned plans can prove fatal for the family’s honor plus they have been repeated and over-the-years-use has worn them out….This noval plan would cover the loopholes and lapses in the previous plans…(All thanks to Why men love bitches)…For instance, it wouldn’t involve the family’s honor (how families can be sensitive about little things….the idea is to play safe); it wouldn’t hurt the guy’s ego(After all most men are MCPs). And the best part of the plan was, is and will remain that I wouldn’t have to carry the weight of an additional guilt coz it didn't include hurting the guy emotionally….
Doesn’t that sound ideal…
Meeting his family, I was slightly taken aback due to the striking resemblance of his mum to someone I really care for…however this couldn’t have been the reason to get married…after exchanging the initial greetings…we were allowed the usual LET-THE-BOY-AND-THE-GIRL- TALK-IN-PERSON…Where I sincerely talked to the guy (without putting my plan into action)…I was really beginning to like the guy…but one silly little statement changed it all…I had realized that he was the 'the old gift in a new package'
I started doubting his MAN OF SUBSTANCE image…and I knew he isn’t the one…however I retained my calm at surface…and did not show my disappointment in him... ‘no' wasn’t an option open before me but putting the plan into action was…
Having shown my interest in him I agreed for the second meeting…Unfortunately there was one weakness in this case and that was his mum…I have to admit that I somehow felt attached to her...In the second meeting I started with my plan which included being over talkative and introducing him to ennui…but I couldn’t somehow execute it effectively till the end due to the awareness that his mum was around…the meeting ended with the promise that he would call…I came back home and switched off my cell…I felt demoralized, working on plan meant lying, being unlike myself and I was hardly doing that before him…However spent my day talking with my cousins and friends about the situation…I had to put crisis management in action rather than the PLAN...
Finally I decided to call the plan an off and returned to my unpretentious and real self…I called him the next day (which is so very unlike me) and was greeted by one of his usual stupid presumptions(He had been thinking about me just the way I had been thinking about him....what crap!!!I have been only thinking about the disaster that I had already done and disaster management...he unfortunately was a part of it but not the in the real romantic sense.....grrrr!! stop presuming boy and let me talk)...I truly wanted to tell him then that these theories are subjective and I am the last one who would conform to these...However hurting him emotionally was not on my mind and besides that would confirm that I am smarter than he is...However I went on with my honest confession mixed with little lies to insulate him from emotional hurt...and announced that I need to call it an off and gave him the reason for it, although not all of them as I wante to keep the conversation short and simple…His response began with the much expected “I M NOT TRYING TO CHANGE YOUR MIND…Uff!!! how many time have I heard that ”The very statement that told me that the guy can’t take rejection and is actually trying to change my mind… so the plan must be executed…you’ll get to reject me dude…take a chill pill…And then I let him take over the conversation. It majorly included the clichés, flirtatious monologues and the endless number of ex-trophy-girls…boy I have outgrown all this… Do I really care about your ideas, flings and conversation skills (that were not in any case very impressive, he sounded confused and incoherent)… However I had to show interest and sound impressed...I didn't have to reject him but I had to make him reject me and I knew this conversation could play a great role in it…Allowed him to take the pleasure of disconnecting the call(how I would have loved to take the honor an hour before)…The next day I discussed with my cousin the POA…
All that I needed was one last meet….And I prayed for it day in and day out..
Jab apko koi cheez dil se chahiye hoti hai toh saari kayanaat aapko us se milane ki koshish karti hain….yeh main nahi SHARUKH KHAAN kehta hai….wink
The plan focused more or less on these small tips:
Do's
1)Act naïve
2)Sound desperate to impress
3)Talk more especially about the things he cannot connect with. Ensure while doing so do NOT wait for his responses...
Rem one-sided conversation is a big turn off..
4)Maintain bad gait, and take the liberty of forgetting important places, dates and names
5)Embarrass him by talking big in front of his relatives (if any)
6)Avoid eye contact esp. if eyes are expressive,
7)Forget manners and etiquettes,
8)Criticize the people mentioned as loved ones in the previous meetings (I know it’s tough to do but avoiding eye contact really helps),
9)Complaining and whining about every little thing,
11)Talking of imaginary POAs after the date and canceling them coz ‘I m so grieved by your departure today’ factor and most importantly shunning all that was genuinely liked by him on the first two dates…
By the way I took these tips from ‘Why men love bitches?’
I had already started applying them on the telephonic conversations and text messages in the mean while…
Finally I get the opportunity to meet him the third time…the golden opportunity…I remind myself every moment… SCREW IT OR GET SCREWED…
To begin with, we started for CP from Rajouri on an AUTO...does that sound silly to you… Auto wale se ladnaa zaroori thha na… A few grammatical errors on the way was a big hit (suggested by my cousin)...After reaching CP…we looked around for Opal lounge… Did it ever exist??? Wink!!! Finally we reach a place once frequented by my imaginary old college friends huh!!!…slurred and lisped and talked till either I or he hit the ground.
Once home I was certain that I wouldn’t receive any message or call from him and I decided to celebrate my victory with my cousins…But hello… I received a message stating “It was worth missing a flight”…So it didn’t work…what a turn off!!! My day gone waste…I missed my eff class to work on things and they seemed to have backfired…I knew he had a bad taste as he couldn't stop reiterating about his expectations which weren't the expectation a classy man would have...but apparently he had no taste at all…What if he still decides to marry me...I can't hurt my family...I will have to do something quickly...Frantically I called a friend...
"May be he is just trying to be polite... Just keep working on the plan and things will be fine"
I decided to call off the celebrations until i get the result of my hardwork…
Needless to say, I never missed out my prayers for it was only Him who could have helped me...
Time to execute the last step of the plan…ie..show how eager I am to marry him... you bet it is a great turn off for any guy…
I did it as soon as he reached the US…This was the last part of the plan…and it was well executed...I must get an IIFA Award for script writing and performance...wink!!!
I wish I could tell him that I think that he hasn’t really dated as many girls as he claimed…Actually any fool could have seen my intentions...wink!!!
So finally things have ended...I am sure he'll think ten times before meeting any Indian girl...MR IBCD...geee!!!
By the way I am all set to meet the next guy ;-)
